we all shine. we all die

i know nobody reads these.

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:29:00 GMT

December 4 2007

Just as glass shatters into many pieces
and yarn sheds into many fibers
so my heart also is loosened
it is stung along by two holders
taken this way and that
all the while my body turns colder
i wish i could drop my heart where it's at
watch as it gets carried away by ants
i desire for my emotions to die
so i can make descions based on my brain
not on my hearts lies

Sorry God.

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 03:06:37 GMT

Ding ding ding goes the sound of my brain
my lips form the word "amen"
I'll see you up there
eyes drawn to the sky
God if your there
please be aware
that i'm not feeling well today
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
god if your there
please please be aware
i stand to sing your songs
your arms i do not feel
i bow to talk to you
but end up staring at the ground
i try to be true
i try to feed the poor all these good deeds i try and do
but in all of theses things your face was never found
people are still dead
and babies will never be fed
God if your there
please be aware
that i'm not feeling well today
god if your there
please be aware
that your treasures i try to share
but lately it feels like you do not care
i cant see you
i can't feel you
and "your" people are sinners
i can't be what you want for me to be
and "your" people are sinners
i can't be what you want fro me to be
god if your there
please be aware
lately it seems like you do not care

a cheesy poem i wrote at burger king

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:26:16 GMT

Shiver
I'll wait by the phone
each day that passes
makes me feel so old
as the hours fly by
my hope begins to slowly die
i wonder what drives a person to be so cold
i can't wait here for ever
this is as much as my heart can bend
feels like I'm waiting around for some
doctor to pronounce me dead
people don't want to deal with lots of things
first and foremost
ME?
i slowly cook my eggs
but the only thoughts are the ones of you that pop in my head
Karma's not my friend
I'd kill her if i could
I can get angry
but where would that get me
I'd still be here
and you'd still be there
and my message would never be clear

it's her you'll always love and it's her i'll always envy. k bye

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:22:44 GMT

Thats not funny prt II
Sit tight watch the cars go by
every single one holds a story better then ours
i wish things werent hard
just wish they'd fall in place
i pick up the things from the floor
and a quick glimpse of your face
has me begging for more
All the nice memories we have
keep on comin back
the one night we got so drunk
i took your shirt
and i threw up chunks
waking up to your smile
making you drive for miles
just to pick me up
they all float around me
never letting me be free
i think the best thing to do
is not burden you
ill dust myself off the best i can
without your giant hands
i'll be able to stand
i'd be rich
if the bank would cash in all your tricks
i'd have lots of money
the way i jumped to conclusions was sorta funny
now i feel like a fool
confessing it all to you......

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:45:12 GMT

Thats not funny
my face is salty
last nights conversation was not expected
a flicker of you eyelashes
i pretend they feel good on my lips
i would be rich
if the bank would accept my checks
of the mixed signals i receive
and the mind games you enjoy playing with me
i jump for my heart that dangles from your neck
who's love are you planning to steal next?
whose hope are you planning on destroying?
someone just like me?
Someone who gives it away for free
we were so close
i let you come in
and before i sat down next to you
you were gone
if this is a game we are playing
i give up
you win.

please don't read if easily offended.

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 23:28:57 GMT

RAW
I don't appreciate this body you worship
and i spit at the words that form "beautiful"
i can't be any of these things
why can't you see
the dirt on my face
and the gum i'm chewing
will always stay in the exact same place
i wont remove the hair from my face
so please
please don't ask
if you think for one moment
you'll be able to change me
then your barking up the wrong.
ha the wrong tree
i'm not beautiful i'm not any of these things you tell me
i don't even know what that word means
you cant fit a square in a circles place
so just let me be
the only thing i know how to be
Me
i don't care if everyone knows i'm crazy
because everyone always tells me
the talents i possess
are USELESS
i don't like the look on your face
when you say
"you'd be beautiful IF"
i'm not beautiful
i'm not any of these things you tell me
i dont even know what that word means
you cant fit a square in a circles place
and you can't the hair outta my face
so just let me be the only thing i know how to be
ME

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 19:32:20 GMT

Seasons
Autumn Came.
Autumn Went
i guess another season.
i must have over slept
i had no idea.
i didn't know.
you must have not seen me crying.
i guess my tears were disguised in the snow.
When your not here.
everything looks the same
not even the seasons
subside the pain
April showers follow my feet
bringing memories
of my defeat
the heat from the sun
burns my eyes.
like our love use to
please say you'll give it another try

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:00:56 GMT

sea breeze
i can let go now anytime i please
letting the wind rush me over and carry me
my skin will flake off,my bones will remain
and make a noise like "cling cling cling"
letting go now
letting the wind rush over me
it feels so good to be free
now i can be
whatever i like to be.
now i am completely Free

xtc xtc xtc xtc xtc

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 21:33:04 GMT

zombie
I loved you before you loved it more
i knew you before the ecstasy
i use to talk to you before you became a zombie
you use to treat me like i'd love you no matter how much you hurt me
you never looked down
you never noticed that at the bottom of your feet was me
and now after it all
after the tables have turned
you cover you chest and tell me "it hurts"
i know you expect me to run to your aid
to forget every horriable day
to take away the pain you've created
but you are not my love
you are not my saving grace
instead you give me a zombie in replace
you stumble around drawn to the liquor the drugs the sex
you fumble out words
you sit yourself down
but.
i am not your mother
i will not bathe and clean you
i am not your father
iw ill not tuck you in
this book has already been written
this novel has already been read
and your excuses
i've heard them
over
and over
and over
again.

Cloud Critters

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 19:15:56 GMT

Cloud Critters
You are my morning light
you are my evening sun
i wake because i know your love
Throughout the day we float on clouds
above the mess
above the crowd
We always hear them talk about the bad
they know nothing of what we carry in our hands
My love, be careful one day we will fall from off the cloud and
tumble
tumble
tumble
down.
but always listen because i will cry out for you
I will wait
patiently for you to pick me up and carry me up to the cloud
i am not afraid of your actions
i am not afraid of what you will do with my heart
it is yours to with as you wish
i hold your heart
i wear it in my hair
i carry your heart
i carry it with care,